Have something to say.

If you’re struggling to think of what to say, perhaps you should listen more. In a world of noise and consistent stimulation, the urge to shout into the void is overwhelming. The desire to be heard.

If you were a passenger on a train barrelling towards someone tied to the tracks, you would be compelled to scream out to them in the hopes they can hear, even if you have no power over the ability to stop the train, and they have no capacity to untie themselves. To you in the moment, there may simply be an irrefutable desire to let them, and everyone else on the train know, that it horrify you, and that you would do something about it if you could. And while this is very good for the passenger, it matters not very much to he who is tied to the track.

The problem then it seems, is that the fear of not being heard, outweighs the need to have something to say. To have something that can cause change, in the heart or the mind. Hence an era of blogging, to meet quota rather to inspire, or to relate. No one wants to educate, they just want to have their opinion shared. Equally however, they are so bombarded with story and information from others, they may not even be able to hear their own thoughts, or listen to the reply.

And that’s equally an important distinction, is that a conversation is two way – which results in mutual affirmation and education. One’s theory can only be expanded upon hearing another knowledge base which can confirm or deny it. Shouting into the void is remarkably one-way, and seldom results in any kind of actual validation, or expansion of the mind. If your opinion can reach anyone, as in the age of the internet it can; then equally anyone – regardless of whether they hold a genuine opinion or not, can respond and seem just as valid as anyone else. Largely, we experience not validation – but either nothing, or a sort of anti-validation when no one responds. Or “likes”. Perhaps you like a photo of you, and find that for once you look beautiful, but when you post it, no one or few people like it, so immediately you assume it must be disgusting. – When in fact, perhaps people were simply busy. Or… didn’t care.

The simple fact is, no one has a compulsion or a requirement to care. And while that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say it – it just perhaps means you should be less offended by it.

Perhaps you should be less worried, about the desire to have your thoughts heard or validated. You may not like what you find.

“If you remain silent; people may think you’re a fool. If you open your mouth; they may know it for a fact.”

There is nothing wrong, with listening to others for a change, even if you don’t like what you hear. And when you decide you are ready to speak, be sure you have something to say.

2 comments

  1. This is quite an interesting one. There was a time when I always wanted to share what I think about those problems, happenings or life experiences what my friends faced with; maybe I can help with my own experiences. I didn’t force my opinion on them, just wanted to show a potential scenario, maybe it can be useful.

    Actually no one heard. You know, these were the typical “ahas, ahas, yeahs, maybes”; and they never really cared. And it is totally okay. As time passed, I stopped sharing stuff, because everyone has an own way of experiencing, and actually no one need the other’s…

    And a few weeks ago I was talking to a friend who is divorcing. I felt totally helpless, they have kids, business together, etc., and accidentally I have quoted one of my favourite lyrics. Its simplicity makes it eternal and so true: “… and remember the darker the night, the more beautiful is the morning light.. ”

    She went emotional, and she said she never heard such a simple and wise “advice” ever, and it so helps her. We are not even very close friends; have 20 years age difference and she has her own little friend circle. And even, she heard…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to share your opinions.

      This is interesting, because from a different perspective – I would argue that when your friends did that; it wasn’t necessarily because you didn’t have something to say, it’s that they weren’t willing to listen.

      A reader who visits a piece of content should be willing to absorb information, for that’s exactly what they’re seeking. But in a group of friends, in reality there could be no one in the circle who is willing to listen, all just willing to talk.

      The problem with that scenario is that you could have one person who has something meaningful to say (perhaps yourself) and five other people who are talking just to be heard, and effectively this drowns out what should be said.

      There is no problem with listening, you never know what you could learn or take away from the thoughts of others. Just look at the effect you had on your friend…

      Liked by 1 person

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